


Batkids Group Chat

by orphan_account



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily Group Chat, Carrie is in the present bc I said so, Cass is Awesome, F/F, F/M, Group chat, Jason has his white streak bc I can, M/M, Terry is confused, batkids, chatfic, swearing mostly by jason and terry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-01-26 19:13:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21379126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Barbara makes a group chat for the younger members of the Batfamily, and it all goes to shit.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Kara Zor-El, Cassandra Cain/Harper Row, Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Jason Todd/Roy Harper, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 13
Kudos: 258





	1. Chapter 1

** _Babs has added Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Duke, Steph, Cass, Harper, Carrie, and Terry to the chat._ **

** _Babs has named the group Batkids._ **

**Babs:** hey guys!!

**Damian: ** what the hell is this

**Babs: ** it's a chat room, a way for all of us to communicate with one another

**Tim: ** so it's a group chat

**Duke: ** with all of Bruce’s sidekicks

**Dick: ** sir

**Jason: ** ahem

**Duke: ** some of Bruce’s sidekicks

**Dick: ** thank you

**Harper: ** owo what's this?

**Tim: ** petition to kick harp from the chat

**Harper: ** arrested for owo crimes ;(

**Carrie: ** *kim kardashian voice* it's what she deserves 

**Cass: ** lol

**Harper: ** so did u two come out of hiding just to roast me 

**Carrie: ** yeah 

**Terry: ** how the FUCK-

**Babs: ** hey terry

**Terry: ** babs I live in the future how did you manage

**Babs: ** shrugs //

**Steph: ** wow we stan a legend 

**Cass: ** i can't believe dick broke up w her

**Dick: ** WH

**Dick: ** SHE BROKE UP WITH ME???

**Babs: ** yeah I did lmao

**Jason: ** good call

**Dick: ** fuck you jaybird

**Jason: ** love u too

**Carrie:** jaybird???

**Jason: ** oh fuck

**Dick: ** yeah that's what I called jason when he was robin 

**Jason: ** i hate it 

**Terry: ** not as bad as being called batsy on a regular basis

**Harper: ** bruce gets that too 

** _Cass has changed Terry’s name to batsy._ **

**basty: ** CASS

**batsy: ** I TRUSTED YOU

**Cass: ** sorry terry :)

**Jason: ** lmaooooo she came for you

** _Cass has changed Jason’s name to jaybird._ **

  
  


**jaybird:** MOTHERFUCKER

  
  


_ two hours later  _

**jaybird: ** guys I fucked up

**Babs: ** what did you do this time?

**jaybird: ** I pissed off poison ivy 

**jaybird: ** now she's trying to kill me in her greenhouse 

**Damian: ** sucks for you

**Harper: ** you hate to see it 

**jaybird:** SERIOUSLY I don't wanna die a third time 

**Tim: ** third???

**jaybird: ** yeah

**Tim: ** yknow what I'm not gonna ask

**Dick: ** sigh

**Dick: ** I'm coming hold on

**jaybird: ** dick is the only good one out of all of you 

**Duke: ** oof

**Steph: ** that's fair 

**Cass:** don't die again

**jaybird** : yeah I won't 

**jaybird: ** OH FJCUXK SHE FOUDN M

** _jaybird has gone offline_ ** _ _

**batsy: ** rip

**Tim: ** can we get an F in the chat?

**Steph: ** F

**Cass:** F

**Harper: ** F

**Dick: ** F

**Damian: ** F

**Carrie: ** F

**Duke: ** F

**Babs: ** F 

**Tim: ** F

**batsy: ** wtf does any of that mean

**Tim: ** it's a meme you say after something bad happens

**batsy: ** oh that's schway

**Steph: ** schway????

**Steph: ** what????????

**batsy: ** yeah schway

**Duke: ** terr I'm shaking what does that MEAN

**batsy: ** honestly at this point I don't know 

**Carrie:** I stg terry is like a cryptid 

**batsy: ** im from the future carrie what do you want from me 

**Carrie: ** your wallet 

**batsy: ** what the fuck is a wallet


	2. Ship Teases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The batkids tease each other (mostly Jason) about each other's relationships

**Tim: ** @jaybird we need to talk

**jaybird: ** ???????

**jaybird: ** what 

**Steph: ** we know about you and roy

**Babs: ** it's really obvious 

**jaybird: ** roy???

**jaybird: ** what does he have to do w anything

**Damian:** you have feelings for him

**jaybird:** SKSNWNS

**jaybird: ** NO

**Carrie:** yeah

**jaybird: ** I don't have feelings for roy

**Dick: ** buddy you said “together we’re better than the sum of our parts”

**jaybird: ** so??? we're partners

**Babs: ** “I've never trusted anyone as much as I do Roy Harper”

**Tim: ** “One of the reasons I was able to come back from the darkness?”

**Tim: ** say it with me now kids 

**Steph: ** “HIM.”

**Cass: ** “ROY HARPER”

**Duke: ** “ARSENAL”

**jaybird: ** look that could mean anything

**Harper: ** ah we can't forgot “this man is half the reason I'm still alive”

**jaybird:** he's my best friend of course im gonna say good shit about him 

**Dick: ** jay you wear his red hoodie on a regular basis 

**jaybird: ** so????

**Babs: ** I found your search history

**jaybird: ** fuck

**Carrie: ** what is it?? 

**Duke: ** PLEASE tell us this is important 

**Babs: ** “how do I know if I'm falling in love with my best friend”

**Babs: ** “is roy harper single?”

ex 

**Babs: “** pictures of roy harper”

**Steph: ** damn Jason 

**Carrie: ** didn't think you were THAT thirsty

**jaybird: ** alRIGHT maybe I do like him a little 

**jaybird: ** seriously doubt he feels the same 

**Dick: ** no he does 

**Dick: ** he legit told me once that he thinks your cute

**jaybird: ** everyone thinks im cute 

**Cass: ** yeah ok 

**jaybird: ** cass PLEASE

**Cass: ** :)

**batsy: ** what did I miss

**Damian: ** todd likes harper 

**batsy: ** WHAT

**Harper: ** not me roy harper 

**batsy: ** oh

**batsy: ** oh yeah I remember him

**batsy: ** you were giving him the bedroom eyes 

**jaybird: ** can we change the subject before I go to the future and kill terry 

**jaybird: ** let's talk about harper and cass 

**Harper: ** me or roy?

**jaybird:** you????

**jaybird: ** i have dibs on roy 

**Tim: ** yeah what's the deal with you and cass harp?

**Cass:** harper is beautiful and I love her so much

**Harper: ** cass is an absolute angel and I want to be with her all the time 

**Duke: ** awwww

**Dick: ** wasn't excepting that

**Steph: ** how about… tim and kon,,,, what's your deal

**Tim: ** kon’s hot

**Carrie: ** yeah kinda

**Harper: ** dick and kory?

**Dick: ** I'm actually dating kory

**batsy:** somehow

**Duke: ** wait

**Duke: ** since terry is from the future, does that mean he can tell us our future?

**Carrie: ** that sounds right 

**batsy: ** sorry, time travel rules 

**Duke: ** fUCK 

  
  
  



	3. Bruce isn't not the sexiest man alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce gets voted sexiest man alive and the kids aren't happy about it

**Steph: ** GUYS

**Steph: ** BRUCE GOT VOTED SEXIEST MAN ALIVE I-

**Harper: ** EWWWWW

**Carrie: ** BRUCE?????

**Damian: ** disgusting 

**Babs: ** have they  _ seen  _ clark kent????

**jaybird: ** we need to berate him mercilessly for this 

**Tim: ** his magazine cover is so awkward 

**Duke: ** bruce and smiling don't mix well 

**Dick: ** bad fashion sense 

**Damian: ** guess that's where you get it from

**Dick: ** >:(

**batsy: ** he's right 

**Dick: ** you’re one outfit is a leather jacket shut up

**jaybird: ** leather jackets are the shit 

**babs: ** eh

**batsy: ** we still have sexiest man alive in the future surprisingly 

**batsy: ** a bunch of people tried voting for batman and i felt honored 

**Damian: ** they'd take it back if they knew what you looked like, mcginnis

**batsy: ** >:(

**Duke: ** lmao you guys should read the interview 

**Duke: ** he's trying so hard to not say that he’s batman 

**Harper: ** what a legend 

**Tim: ** i kinda already knew about this

**Steph: ** WHAT?????

**Steph: ** WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US

**Tim: ** i wasn't allowed 

**Tim: ** people magazine came to ask for a comment about bruce since i’m the ceo of WI

**Dick: ** did you?

**Tim: ** nah

**jaybird: ** i don't blame you 

**Cass:** don't look at the photoshoot 

**Cass:** i'm disgusted

**babs: ** it can't be that bad 

**babs:** BLEH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me hear some chapter ideas! I got no brain


	4. Cass's New Friends (NO BOP SPOILERS)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick finds out about Cass's new criminal friends and the batkids aren't all that thrilled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok look i know in the movie cass stole the diamond instead of harley but it makes no sense if she did in canon so

**Dick: ** @Cass HEY HI HELLO

**Cass:** ???

**Dick: ** WHY ARE YOU HANGING AROUND WITH HARLEY QUINN 

**Cass:** oh that's what this is about 

**jaybird: ** cass??? why would you hang out with that clown

**Cass: ** she's not that bad

**Cass: ** ever since she broke up with the joker she's been a better person

**Damian: ** she's still a criminal, cassandra

**Carrie: ** you're one to talk 

**Damian:** shut up

**Steph: ** cass are you sure it's a good idea to hang out with harley? I don't want you getting hurt 

**Duke: ** please, cass could beat her ass to next tuesday 

**Tim:** she really could 

**babs: ** legend 

**Cass: ** i'm fine

**Cass: ** dinah, helena, and renee are there too

**Harper:** DINAH?????

**Harper: ** AS IN  **THE ** BLACK CANARY 

**Cass: ** yeah she's really nice 

**Harper: ** I-

**Harper: ** CASS YOU ANGEL TAKE ME WITH YOU NEXT TIME 

**Cass:** sure 

**Harper: ** CASSANDRA CAIN I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU 

**Cass: ** I love you too <3

**Harper: ** <3

**batsy: ** awwwwww

**Duke: ** your favs could never 

**Carrie: ** otp

**Dick: ** are we gonna ignore that cass is hanging out with a convicted criminal 

**Harper: ** you were a secret agent for like, a year and didn't tell any of us bro

**Tim: ** bitch we thought you died 

**Dick: ** not my proudest moment 

**jaybird: ** it's still harley fucking quinn 

**Steph: ** whatever you say, mob boss

**jaybird: ** i wasn't a  _ real  _ mob boss 

**Tim: ** there's a duffel bag of decapitated heads that say otherwise

**jaybird:** oh that was fun 

**Duke: ** feeling a little concern

**Harper: ** i’m used to it at this point 

**Duke: ** honestly? yeah same

**jaybird: ** they were selling drugs to children what do you want me to do

**Dick: ** tbh i don't blame you for that one 

**jaybird: ** thank you richard

**Dick: ** you did try to blow up blüdhaven tho

**jaybird: ** whoops yeah 

**Tim: ** why do all of our convos result in shaming jason for his past actions 

**Harper: ** cause it's fun 

_ three hours later  _

**Cass: ** oh shit guys black mask wants to kill us 

**jaybird: ** that motherfucker is still alive????

**jaybird: ** i thought i killed him 

**Cass:** yeah harley stole some diamond 

**Cass: ** dinah betrayed him 

**Cass: ** helena killed his friend 

**Cass: ** renee is trying to catch him 

**Steph: ** what did you do?

**Cass: ** broke his nose 

  
**Babs: ** i’m so proud

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> not important to the story but I need to let everyone know:
> 
> Dick- Nightwing  
Jason- Red Hood  
Tim- Red Robin  
Damian- Robin  
Duke- Signal  
Cass- Black Bat  
Steph- Spoiler  
Barbara- Oracle  
Harper- Bluebird  
Carrie- Batgirl  
Terry- Batman (in the future)


End file.
